Blink

Decision Making, Overthinking & Anxiety

This post was actually inspired by an Instagram post I did, in which I summarised my thoughts and lessons from Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Blink”. I now realise that there was so much I left out, maybe for fear of over-sharing or simply because I knew that an Instagram caption wasn’t the platform to properly explore the ideas I had. So I’ll give it a shot here.

I am a worry wart. It’s a little better now because I had to learn how to weigh up or prioritise my thoughts and feelings, but I grew up stressing myself out over anything and everything I could get my mind on. While I’m improving, this is still something I have to deal with on a daily basis and is more likely something I’ll have to learn to manage, rather than find a way to get rid of all together. In an attempt to better understand myself I want to explore some of the science behind overthinking and anxiety and how this affects my decision making process. 

1. What is anxiety? 

An Oxford Languages dictionary definition says that anxiety is, “a feeling of worry, nervousness or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.” In general, anxiety is a normal human reaction to uncertainty and the feeling is natural, to a certain point. In fact, I think  anxiety is a symptom of our innate human ability to plan for future scenarios, which is in turn a product of our ability to think creatively and imagine said possible futures. Other animals and even primates don’t exhibit this ability and Yuval Harari explores this masterfully in the introductory chapters of his book “Sapiens”. He explains how the ‘cognitive revolution’ in which Homo Sapiens began to differentiate themselves from the many other species of ‘man’ that inhabited the Earth at the same time; resulted in improved communication, collaboration and creativity. Yes, our oldest genetically identical ancestors lived at the same time as Neanderthals etc. So yeah, that somewhat iconic depiction of the linear evolution of humankind is cap… But I digress. Put succinctly, our complex brains are at fault. 

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

A definition of anxiety from the American Psychiatric Association echoes the Oxford Dictionary definition, however, they draw a distinction between anxiety and anxiety disorders saying that, “anxiety disorders are characterised by excessive fear or anxiety which is disproportionate to the situation, age inappropriate or hinders one’s ability to function normally.” There are also various types of anxiety disorders including, generalised anxiety disorder, panic disorder, specific phobias, agoraphobia, social anxiety disorder and separation anxiety disorder.

My anxiety started at a very young age, and while I’m not willing to get into the trigger on this post; I will say that my anxiety regarding the situation wasn’t age appropriate nor was it proportionate to the situation, in hindsight. I have vague memories of going to a child psychologist but have no recollection of what we spoke about or how I felt really. I’m obviously no professional but I think this could've been a massive contributor to my anxiety and what I experience today. I will say, however, that after reading more on anxiety disorders I don’t think I display the symptoms of someone with a disorder. Although my anxiety can lead to depressive episodes which leave me feeling, weak, sad and uninterested in existence (this was at its worst in university); today I’m generally able to come out of those ruts faster or deal with them better.

1. Overthinking and anxiety - The chicken or egg paradox

The problem I face now, is that I think this early struggle with anxiety has left me to deal with a serious case of overthinking. Overthinking can simply be described as excessively dwelling on a thought or feelings without any logical filtration or rational sense of proportion for the situation, this often leads to anxiety and stress.

Do I overthink because I’m anxious or does my overthinking cause anxiety?

https://imgur.com/gallery/Xrhx8H9/comment/484199023

The question above is an important one because it indicates what I should be focusing on remedying. The aim is to treat the cause to eliminate the effects. Unfortunately I hadn’t figured this out by the time I needed to post this so it will have to continue in the comments. Let me know your guys’ thoughts or if you have a logical/medically backed answer. Let’s continue.

There are obviously stressful situations that easily lend themselves to overthinking, but what about wondering if the person you took the elevator with this morning noticed how dirty your shoes are. I watched a YouTube video a while back that touched on anxiety, overthinking and our tendency to stress ourselves over frankly stupid things. They made a point to assure the viewer that the person you took the elevator with in all likelihood didn’t even notice you were there, much less what you were wearing and was too busy thinking about what they had to do for the day or something of the sort. This then begs the question,

Is the most irrational side of overthinking the result of an egocentric mind indulging in thoughts and feelings that have little meaning or consequence to anyone but the person to whom the thoughts belong?

1. Overthinking in a Decision making context. 

Ok cool, so we’ve established that I’m an over-thinker and maybe you’re starting to notice some of the same traits in your own behaviour. Or you’ve always been an over-thinker and that’s why you’re still reading this post. The problem with overthinking, in a decision making context, is that it can cloud one’s judgement and often leaves you unable to make decisions, solve problems and thus unable to take action. Our individual paths to happiness and success require decisive action. So, the question becomes what are we going to do about it?

We are faced with countless decisions in a day, it’s actually utterly exhausting; especially when you throw in the frightening idea that a high percentage of the daily decisions we have to make; directly contribute (via a compound effect over many days, say a year) to your chances of success or failure. Choose not to study enough times in a year and you fail, skip gym enough days in a year and you don’t reach your body goals or whatever. I definitely don’t have all the answers but I do have some tips that have helped me improve:

• A good 7/8 Times out of 10 It’s not that deep

I’ve learnt, that allowing yourself to think that a single decision is the be all and end all of your entire existence is begging for an anxiety attack.

I’ve recently started learning about Game Theory and I’m super interested in how it can be used as a framework for thinking about decisions. Not every single situation in life in which you have to make a decision is some kind of zero sum game where you’ll either lose or win based on your decision. In fact life is far more interesting than that. It's more a sequence of games (often involving other ‘players’) where you can make the decision that is just good enough to keep you in the game and progress. I have a friend in particular who was always telling me ‘it’s not that deep’ whenever he could see I was beginning to stress myself out. As I began to truly get comfortable with this notion we would laugh about how insignificant our lives are in the face of such stress because we really are just 2 out of 7 billion people on Earth, which is a random rock in a solar system that belongs to a galaxy of how many million solar systems again? Anyways, I think you can see where I’m going with this.

• Rome wasn’t built in a day, thousands of small steps are easier than one giant one.

The above game theory perspective is most applicable in a strategic context, in which you’re competing with other players. However, you can also apply it in a personal context in which you’re competing with yourself, so to speak. Look at the gym example; if you get home, change your clothes, put on your running shoes and walk out the door for a run before you feel like falling on the couch and taking out your phone, 9 out of 10 times, you’ll probably go for that run 8 out of those 9. Making sure you execute on these small decisions is likely to increase your chances of you keeping to your commitments and extrapolated over many successful days; is likely to ensure you reach your goals. We can capitalise on the compounding effect I spoke about earlier by putting ourselves in positions to make good decisions and use the resulting progress to do insane things. 

Click the link below to watch a TED Talk I watched a while back that gets the point across really nicely.

How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals | Stephen Duneier | TEDxTucson

• Get good at prioritising

The definitions of anxiety we looked at above both highlighted the proportionality of fear for the situation as an important metric and I think this is key. A great tool for managing anxiety is being able to rationally break down a problem or fear to its root causes and then either solving it, if it’s in your control or letting go if it’s not. Now obviously having to let go, can trigger anxiety all over again because your fate in a certain context is not in your control, but this is where I’d encourage you to weigh this problem up against others you may be facing at the time. Most of the time you’ll find problems that are far more pressing and in your control which if you solve can alleviate overall stress and anxiety. The video below puts the idea of prioritising into context and also touches on automating (or predetermining) small decisions so you don’t get overwhelmed or burnt out when the time comes, for example what you’re going to wear to work or eat for supper.

            An ER doctor on how to triage your busy life | Darria Long | TEDxNaperville

• Trust your intuition and gut feel, especially in a context where you know what you’re doing

‘The key to good decision making is not knowledge, it is understanding. We are swimming in the former. We are desperately lacking in the latter.’ - Malcolm Gladwell

My mom would always remind me to trust my ‘gut feeling’ growing up and while I felt like I knew what she meant, I’ve realised recently that I didn’t do it enough. My perceived need to analyse all the variables and information, so I can understand the situation in which I need to make a decision, often left me bound by indecision. Analytical thinking, which had always felt like a superpower was also proving to be my kryptonite in a different context. 

‘When we talk about analytic versus intuitive decision making, neither is good or bad. What is bad is if you use either of them in an inappropriate circumstance.’ - Malcolm Gladwell

The journey towards mastering my thoughts will be lifelong and has taken a serious amount of effort, time and honesty with myself. But, it has been incredibly rewarding and I hope anyone reading this is inspired to give it a try.

Tebz